This always happens, i stumble upon a new blog spot, get all hyped about it, promise myself that THIS one will be the one that i continue to post honest thoughts on .... and yet it get handed out, or forgotten about.
i have been so busy with the new job, which, mind you is boring as all freaking holy hell! BUT ... it's a job. it takes me 30 minutes in the AM to get to Albany, and over an hour to get home in the evening. I am up by 5am, dragging acsha out of bed and into the car by 6:30, get to work around 7:45 .... check out of work at 4:30ish make it to my sisters by 5:30, so long as there is no traffic or accidents ... i collect acsha and all her things and we walk back in the door around 6pm. most nights she is so tired she passes out around 6:30-7 ... i try to clean, unpack from the day and repack for the next day, shower, pick out and iron clothes and get to bed sometimes before 11, to get up 6 hours later and do it all over again.
I AM FUCKING TIRED!
after 2 weeks with of working full time, and no money coming in ... tomorrow SHOULD be payday. and after a small screaming fit with the bank in PA ... my direct deposit should go in without an issue. if not, there WILL be more screaming.
Chris has been spoiling me more ..... this time clothes. Awesome p-r-o-fessional clothes and the most comfy sweater EVER made. I literally went on Express website, saw this brand new winter sweater, made 1 comment and 2 days later he showed up with the sweater AND the greatest suit, shirt, headband and belt. he's such a sweetheart.
speaking of which, he comes over tomorrow evening. i should get back to this area around 5:30 at which time Chris and I will head to my moms to help her stuff 4500 tax bills into envelopes until wee hours of the morning. when that is complete we will come home crash for a few hours hopefully then get up and drive 6 hours to philly for the long weekend/his bday. Spend the weekend showing him Philly, see Gianna Garbanzo for a bit, and then head home, to start the week all over again. the week where each night i have to go help mom stack fire wood for aboot an hour a night.
also starting this week ... my 1st semester ... and acsha should be going to school. i still havent heard anything about whether or not she got a spot in the program. and i have to find time .... sometime before Monday to download my on-line books for my classes. ALSO, i had to drop to P/T status b/c i got denied for my third party loan .... shitheads.
so anywho ... i am going to try my very bestest to keep this up to date .... but i promise nothing.
this is me
tired.
my feet hurt.
my ass is numb.
my allergies are in full force.
i had too many fish sticks to eat.
i really need to iron and go to sleep.
good night
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
And they're off .....
QUEST TO NOT OVERSLEEP
I told myself that i was going to force myself to go to bed around 8pm last night so that i would get plenty of sleep and not be tired when the alarm went off at 5:30 this morning. I did not make it to bed however until 10pm, at which point i switched the alarm to go off at 5:10 so that i could hit the snooze button twice and feel like i was cheating the system. It worked, i got up around 5:20 got myself ready, got Acsha's stuff together, scooped her up in her blanky and off we went. Official time out the door, 6:30am.
QUEST TO NOT GET LOST
This is a quest that damn it all ... i go on ALL the freakin time!! I swear!! This time however, was NOT my fault. The address - 136 Sicker Rd, Latham, NY. The problem - There are 2 pieces of Sicker rd. It would make a nice pretty loop around and connect from Albany Shaker to Old Niskayuna .... IF THEY HADNT PUT THE FREAKIN AIRPORT .... IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD! So naturally i ended up at the wrong piece of the road, and i got there around 7:30am ... tried calling ... with no luck. Finally got ahold of somebody around 8:05, i backtracked a bit and made it there by 10 after.
QUEST TO KEEP MY HEAD FROM EXPLODING
I am used to dealing with truck drivers, used to PO's and log books, used to delivery sheets and some routing functions/proceddures. But the system that this company uses ... is so simple.(code wise) but it does so damn much ... it is so confusing.
It operates like a basic dos comands. 1's for selections, tab functions to navigate, lots of use of the F keys ... programmed up to F24. It's ..... well i've gotten the hang of the roll-off system, and part of the side load system. did some route audits ..... all in all it was ok.
- ok well short post tonight but i have a butt load of things to do before i get myself to bed.
- tomorrow is another fun day of data entry. woo-hoo!!
I told myself that i was going to force myself to go to bed around 8pm last night so that i would get plenty of sleep and not be tired when the alarm went off at 5:30 this morning. I did not make it to bed however until 10pm, at which point i switched the alarm to go off at 5:10 so that i could hit the snooze button twice and feel like i was cheating the system. It worked, i got up around 5:20 got myself ready, got Acsha's stuff together, scooped her up in her blanky and off we went. Official time out the door, 6:30am.
QUEST TO NOT GET LOST
This is a quest that damn it all ... i go on ALL the freakin time!! I swear!! This time however, was NOT my fault. The address - 136 Sicker Rd, Latham, NY. The problem - There are 2 pieces of Sicker rd. It would make a nice pretty loop around and connect from Albany Shaker to Old Niskayuna .... IF THEY HADNT PUT THE FREAKIN AIRPORT .... IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD! So naturally i ended up at the wrong piece of the road, and i got there around 7:30am ... tried calling ... with no luck. Finally got ahold of somebody around 8:05, i backtracked a bit and made it there by 10 after.
QUEST TO KEEP MY HEAD FROM EXPLODING
I am used to dealing with truck drivers, used to PO's and log books, used to delivery sheets and some routing functions/proceddures. But the system that this company uses ... is so simple.(code wise) but it does so damn much ... it is so confusing.
It operates like a basic dos comands. 1's for selections, tab functions to navigate, lots of use of the F keys ... programmed up to F24. It's ..... well i've gotten the hang of the roll-off system, and part of the side load system. did some route audits ..... all in all it was ok.
- ok well short post tonight but i have a butt load of things to do before i get myself to bed.
- tomorrow is another fun day of data entry. woo-hoo!!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
One big migraine
QUEST TO NOT FREAK THE FUCK OUT
This quest encompasses the past 24 hours.
But before we get into that, let us back up about 2 months. We used to have a cat, her name was Mrs.Cleo she was awesome .... she had fleas, and i developed allergies to her ... we no longer have a cat. She went to live with my sister. The fleas are now ... thank goodness under control and i dare say nearly completely gone. My daughter's ankles were collecting little red dots, as the fleas enjoyed her very much.
The cat left for her permanent vacation about 3 weeks ago, but my daughters spots did not. They actually continually got worse .... so, chicken pox i figured. Which is fine ..... they didnt seem to bother her that much. BUT ... now 3 weeks later, the spots are still there, and there was a huge clump on her leg that had swelled up, were hot to the touch, and the rash was spreading. SO ... off to the Dr's we go around 4:30 last night.
SIDE NOTE - she hasnt eaten much in the past 3-4 days but i chalked it upto potty training and the fear of having to poop on the potty, which in turn ... she hasn't pooped in the past 3-4 days, but i chalked that up to not eating anything. Then yesterday she started to refuse to drink anything.
SO - we get to the dr's .... spend 30 minutes going in and out of the bathroom b/c 'ash has pee potty' .. the nurse calls us over to be weighed. (haha ... us, like i got up there too) So she climbs up on the scale, hands on the belly, all proud, the nurse marks down 30lbs and into the room we go. The nurse takes 1 look at the chart and tells me to take her shoes off, that she needs to be reweighed. Acsha thinks this is the coolest thing so back out we go, bare little piggy-toes and back on the scale ... again, 30lbs. The nurse looks concerned and tells me that she has lost 10lbs since her last visit (1 month ago for shots) this is not good, that is 1/4 of her total weight.
The doc takes one look at her leg and says he wants to test for lyme disease. I dont freak out too much, thats standard in this area ... we have the highest rate of cases due to the insane amount of forestry in this area. Then i tell him about her not eating, and not drinking and shes been waking up alot int he middle of the night w/fevers screaming that her belly hurts .... he takes a look at her chart and orders another blood test ... this time he wants her lead levels checked.
OK - now i freak a bit.
She is such a brave little girl when they draw her blood, not even a tear. She is my brave little toaster muffin.
This morning we get up kinda late ... i get her up, stick her on the potty while i get myself ready and pack her bag for the sitters. I get her dressed and the phone rings, it's the women from the temp. agency i interviewed at offering me a job, BUT i have to go to Albany to get drug screening and background check done ... and i have to do it today. OK ... deep breath, not a problem todays driving lesson will be .... going to Albany. While i was on the phone, Acsha has undressed herself and is standing before me in nothing but princess underoos and light up sandals .... i redress her, head to the kitchen to grab snacks for the day and the phone rings again ... GAH! its my brother ... 'yes christopher we are driving, we are running late, i will be there in 10 minutes'
After dropping my daughter off, i head down the road to my moms house. Puttsing along at 60mph a god damned dog runs out in front of me, i swerve the dog continues to tootle around the yellow line. I feel bad .... i pull over. now mind you i HATE dogs i dont know ... traumatic childhhod experience. So ... i realize upon further inspection that this dog is about 90 years old ... and DEAF! I watch several cars swerve and nearly kill the thing, and i finally get close enough to him 'ok, nice doggy' *pats his head and reaches for tags on collar* 'ok Humphrey - 3047' BACK to my sisters house to try and call these people ... no answer, so i leave the number w/my sister and continue back to my moms house.
Now .. mind you i told the women i'd be in Albany NO later than noon. It is now 11:15, shit .. i'm late ... again. So i pick him up, and off we go. I get there fill out my paperwork, she hands me the list ps places i can choose from to go pee in a cup .. naturally all of them are int he damn city ... and i have NO idea where any of them are. small panic attack.
TONY TO THE RESCUE
(mysterious sexy man of the night) He happens to work in the SAME building area where i was ... so i call him, we find his office and he gives me directions. I still really have NO idea where i am going, but off we go. And naturally, we get a bit lost, get honked at, back track and FINALLY find this place. We go inside ... check the lobby listings ... it's not there. i call the number get the recording that tells me THEY HAVE MOVED! So ... we find the new place i pee in my cup and we head back to the sticks b/c my brother has 5hr course at 4pm and has to be back by 3:30 so my mom can bring him.
We get back to my mothers work to switch out cars and she is frazzled and grumpy and says to me 'you guys better get going if you're going to make it to his course on time' ok fantastic ... i obviously just got volunteered to drive ihm .... not a huge problem i suppose, just would have been nice to know ahead of time. so we go to moms house, scarf some food and wait for her to get there to give me gas monkies. 'ok' she says 'i will meet you at my house around 3' somewhere around 3:15 she gets there .... she walks in the door and she and my step father start screaming at each other. YAY - ackward moment of the century ... i just want my gas money so we can leave. she tosses me $20 and we head to Hoosick Falls.
Naturally this place is not where she said it was, there were no signs like she said there would be, we get there just in time ... but he made it. I leave there and race to my daughters doctors office to drop off a paper for headstart ... immunization records, that HAVE to be there tomorrow, and i got them yesterday .... late. how fun. I get to the dr's 5 minutes bofore they close, throw it at the receptionist and tell her i'll be back to pick it up tomorrow and am off.
My next stop is the drug store to pick up mine and my sisters Rx's. and of course ... this cant go smoothly either. My Rx was called in 3 weeks ago, and has now been put back on the shelf, and my sisters was never called in to begin with. So while waiting for them to fill mine i call my sister to tell her 'ok, i know i said i'b be there by 4 and it is now 5, but i AM on my way ... i promise' I get my Rx and head to pick up my daughter.
We get home around 5:30 ... i have enough time to fill out more shitty paperwork for her headstart program, pick up the apt. a little bit, go pee, finish my coffee, check my myspace, get a phone call from my ex telling me that he doesnt have the $$ to bring my daughter to me this weekend ... FUCKING FANTASTIC! Before i know it, its time to get back out and pick my brother up ... we get back here around 9, i put acsha to bed ..... and here i am.
BIG FUCKING SIGH!
I am starving ... i put fish fillets and french fries in the oven.
DAILY SIDE NOTES
-Gianna is not coming to visit us this weekend. apparently my ex-husband is having a shortage of funds .... join the club buddy
-Chris should be getting off of work early tomorrow ... which is awesome. Fingers crossed all goes well he should be arriving 5 hours earlier than normal.
This is one stressed out, very tired and starving mommy signing out for the evening.
This quest encompasses the past 24 hours.
But before we get into that, let us back up about 2 months. We used to have a cat, her name was Mrs.Cleo she was awesome .... she had fleas, and i developed allergies to her ... we no longer have a cat. She went to live with my sister. The fleas are now ... thank goodness under control and i dare say nearly completely gone. My daughter's ankles were collecting little red dots, as the fleas enjoyed her very much.
The cat left for her permanent vacation about 3 weeks ago, but my daughters spots did not. They actually continually got worse .... so, chicken pox i figured. Which is fine ..... they didnt seem to bother her that much. BUT ... now 3 weeks later, the spots are still there, and there was a huge clump on her leg that had swelled up, were hot to the touch, and the rash was spreading. SO ... off to the Dr's we go around 4:30 last night.
SIDE NOTE - she hasnt eaten much in the past 3-4 days but i chalked it upto potty training and the fear of having to poop on the potty, which in turn ... she hasn't pooped in the past 3-4 days, but i chalked that up to not eating anything. Then yesterday she started to refuse to drink anything.
SO - we get to the dr's .... spend 30 minutes going in and out of the bathroom b/c 'ash has pee potty' .. the nurse calls us over to be weighed. (haha ... us, like i got up there too) So she climbs up on the scale, hands on the belly, all proud, the nurse marks down 30lbs and into the room we go. The nurse takes 1 look at the chart and tells me to take her shoes off, that she needs to be reweighed. Acsha thinks this is the coolest thing so back out we go, bare little piggy-toes and back on the scale ... again, 30lbs. The nurse looks concerned and tells me that she has lost 10lbs since her last visit (1 month ago for shots) this is not good, that is 1/4 of her total weight.
The doc takes one look at her leg and says he wants to test for lyme disease. I dont freak out too much, thats standard in this area ... we have the highest rate of cases due to the insane amount of forestry in this area. Then i tell him about her not eating, and not drinking and shes been waking up alot int he middle of the night w/fevers screaming that her belly hurts .... he takes a look at her chart and orders another blood test ... this time he wants her lead levels checked.
OK - now i freak a bit.
She is such a brave little girl when they draw her blood, not even a tear. She is my brave little toaster muffin.
This morning we get up kinda late ... i get her up, stick her on the potty while i get myself ready and pack her bag for the sitters. I get her dressed and the phone rings, it's the women from the temp. agency i interviewed at offering me a job, BUT i have to go to Albany to get drug screening and background check done ... and i have to do it today. OK ... deep breath, not a problem todays driving lesson will be .... going to Albany. While i was on the phone, Acsha has undressed herself and is standing before me in nothing but princess underoos and light up sandals .... i redress her, head to the kitchen to grab snacks for the day and the phone rings again ... GAH! its my brother ... 'yes christopher we are driving, we are running late, i will be there in 10 minutes'
After dropping my daughter off, i head down the road to my moms house. Puttsing along at 60mph a god damned dog runs out in front of me, i swerve the dog continues to tootle around the yellow line. I feel bad .... i pull over. now mind you i HATE dogs i dont know ... traumatic childhhod experience. So ... i realize upon further inspection that this dog is about 90 years old ... and DEAF! I watch several cars swerve and nearly kill the thing, and i finally get close enough to him 'ok, nice doggy' *pats his head and reaches for tags on collar* 'ok Humphrey - 3047' BACK to my sisters house to try and call these people ... no answer, so i leave the number w/my sister and continue back to my moms house.
Now .. mind you i told the women i'd be in Albany NO later than noon. It is now 11:15, shit .. i'm late ... again. So i pick him up, and off we go. I get there fill out my paperwork, she hands me the list ps places i can choose from to go pee in a cup .. naturally all of them are int he damn city ... and i have NO idea where any of them are. small panic attack.
TONY TO THE RESCUE
(mysterious sexy man of the night) He happens to work in the SAME building area where i was ... so i call him, we find his office and he gives me directions. I still really have NO idea where i am going, but off we go. And naturally, we get a bit lost, get honked at, back track and FINALLY find this place. We go inside ... check the lobby listings ... it's not there. i call the number get the recording that tells me THEY HAVE MOVED! So ... we find the new place i pee in my cup and we head back to the sticks b/c my brother has 5hr course at 4pm and has to be back by 3:30 so my mom can bring him.
We get back to my mothers work to switch out cars and she is frazzled and grumpy and says to me 'you guys better get going if you're going to make it to his course on time' ok fantastic ... i obviously just got volunteered to drive ihm .... not a huge problem i suppose, just would have been nice to know ahead of time. so we go to moms house, scarf some food and wait for her to get there to give me gas monkies. 'ok' she says 'i will meet you at my house around 3' somewhere around 3:15 she gets there .... she walks in the door and she and my step father start screaming at each other. YAY - ackward moment of the century ... i just want my gas money so we can leave. she tosses me $20 and we head to Hoosick Falls.
Naturally this place is not where she said it was, there were no signs like she said there would be, we get there just in time ... but he made it. I leave there and race to my daughters doctors office to drop off a paper for headstart ... immunization records, that HAVE to be there tomorrow, and i got them yesterday .... late. how fun. I get to the dr's 5 minutes bofore they close, throw it at the receptionist and tell her i'll be back to pick it up tomorrow and am off.
My next stop is the drug store to pick up mine and my sisters Rx's. and of course ... this cant go smoothly either. My Rx was called in 3 weeks ago, and has now been put back on the shelf, and my sisters was never called in to begin with. So while waiting for them to fill mine i call my sister to tell her 'ok, i know i said i'b be there by 4 and it is now 5, but i AM on my way ... i promise' I get my Rx and head to pick up my daughter.
We get home around 5:30 ... i have enough time to fill out more shitty paperwork for her headstart program, pick up the apt. a little bit, go pee, finish my coffee, check my myspace, get a phone call from my ex telling me that he doesnt have the $$ to bring my daughter to me this weekend ... FUCKING FANTASTIC! Before i know it, its time to get back out and pick my brother up ... we get back here around 9, i put acsha to bed ..... and here i am.
BIG FUCKING SIGH!
I am starving ... i put fish fillets and french fries in the oven.
DAILY SIDE NOTES
-Gianna is not coming to visit us this weekend. apparently my ex-husband is having a shortage of funds .... join the club buddy
-Chris should be getting off of work early tomorrow ... which is awesome. Fingers crossed all goes well he should be arriving 5 hours earlier than normal.
This is one stressed out, very tired and starving mommy signing out for the evening.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Lazy? We'll call it ... busy.
QUEST TO NOT SOUND SO DAMN LAME
I would like to report that the reason i have not updated in a few days is due to the sudden filling of my social schedule. This however ... is not the case, i have just been uberlazy. We however, will call it busy.
QUEST TO CONVINCE MY MOTHER IT'S TIME TO PAY ME
Driving lessons with my brother are going rather swell, we will talk about that in the next quest. This quest is about trying to get my mother to realize that most people work a week, and then get paid for that week. Some, yes, work 2 weeks and get paid, but that is naturally decided upon before work gets underway. Now mind you the initial price she set out on the table was $200/wk for 20 hours of my time. It is however part way into week 2 and still no sign, or even mention of money. This normally would not bother me, except i am piss ass broke. Like seriously ... my car is on fumes, the needle does not move off of 'E' and i am smoking the cheapest brand of cigarettes i could buy ... with my little brothers money mind you.
None of this would bother me normally, i obviously enjoy having money, but i am content living modestly for the time being while i go back to school and get things figured out. What does urk the crap out of me, is that i pledged my time to her, and therefor do not have time to go find an actual job .. you know ... one that pays me for my time.
QUEST TO NOT GET LOST IN TROY
Driving ..... we took yesterday off so my brother could study a bit more for his CCNA3 exam. This morning, bright and early ... ok thats a lie. This morning, around 10am ... i picked him up and off we went. We tootled around like normal, i made him parallel park on a one-way side street ... on the left hand side. I thought his head was going to explode with confusion, but he did well.
QUEST TO NOT HURT FEELINGS
So i have several friends who live in various surrounding cities ... some of which i hang out with on occassion. There is one in particular though, whom i have known for apx. 5 years, and other than when i moved to PA, he has lived 25 minutes from me ... tops at any given time. (i move around alot)
So ... one would think that if i was just SO insanely gorgeous, funny, smart, caring, yadda-yadda, feed-me-a-bunch-of-bullshit-once-again .... that 25 minutes would be nothing to drive. YET ... here it is, going on 6 years later and i have yet to see this person in the flesh. It is always the same thing .. it's too dark and i dont see well at night, esp when i'm not sure where i am going .... or ... you could come over, but i live with my mom and she gets uncomfortable when people come over late at night ... or he waits until he KNOWS my daughter is sleeping and then suggests it ... or ... oh i worked all day so i am tired. there is ALWAYS something that makes it so it can't happen. well i am just friggin sorry buddy ... but in nearly 6 years time, you have "seen" my in and out of relationships ... both serious and not, you are well aware of the birth of BOTH of my children .... and yet you always wait until i am IN a relationship to feed me some sappy story about how much i mean to you ... yeah right!
So ... you know what. yes, i lie to you at times ... i go to Troy every single morning now ... and yes, most morning i drive right past your apt. and at times i drive past your work .. and sure, you cross my mind, and then i remember how retarded the entire situation is ... and we keep driving.
Now .. mind you, the guy whom i am currently seeing ... drove nearly 4 hours, on a whim that i might want to see him, just because he wanted to see me in the flesh. i have NO damn sympathy for a person who lives 25 minutes away and can not be bothered.
THE QUEST TO NOT KISS AND TELL (quest failed) ((oops))
OK - so i have to get all girly and mushy for a minute, because i just HAVE to share this with all the women out there to let them know that it does exist, and i have to share it for the men, to let them know that we really do notice, and appreciate these things. (and yes, i know that was a terrible run on sentence .. but we're talking love and swooning not proper english)
The guy .... no-no wait ... THE guy that girls ... no-no women ... didnt think existed ... is head over heels gay (the mushy type, not the homosexual type ... not that there is ANYTHING wrong with being homosexual ... i'm all for everyones rights to do whoever they want ... i digress) anywho .. he is all about ... me.
You watch those movies and music videos, and you see those embraces, and kisses, those steamy love making scenes, the cute cuddles and forehead kisses, the insanely thoughtful gifts for NO reason. You read about cute guys who are well traveled and can quote philosophers, who dress like they belong in GQ and can do their own laundry *gasp!* You read in magazines about men who can cook, like to stay fit and healthy but can still enjoy the down time eat cold cereal at midnight while you are playing video games, get up the next morning and HE deals with crappy chores like dishes and taking out the garbage. You see interviews with celebrities who talk about how family/goal oriented their mates are, and you gag when you see a man look into a womens eyes, say ANYTHING to her and know that it came right from his heart.
You dream about a guy who will turn down a night on the town with the boys and a trip to the strip club for his birthday in exchange for dinner, dancing and romance with you. You long for a guy that can make you feel like the most beautiful women in the world .... every .... single .... day. A man who tells you that you are gorgeous, and does the cutest most thoughtful things for you, completely out of the blue ... but you know that everything he says, everything he does, and every action he takes ... is because he wants to, and because he really thinks that you are the greatest thing in the world to him.
well i have found him.
they do exist.
he is amazing!
*gush, swoon, blush, tee-hee, giggle*
DAILY SIDE NOTES
-i am still fighting with the student loan company to release the money they ALREADY told me i could have ... but for some reason are being complete asses about it.
-My youngest daughter comes to visit this weekend. This will be the 1st time she gets to meet Chris ... as well as the 1st time my ex-husband gets to meet him as well. Mondays post should be interesting.
-i am really hungry and should perhaps go eat something. The tofu from dinner is wearing off, i need to rejuvinate
I would like to report that the reason i have not updated in a few days is due to the sudden filling of my social schedule. This however ... is not the case, i have just been uberlazy. We however, will call it busy.
QUEST TO CONVINCE MY MOTHER IT'S TIME TO PAY ME
Driving lessons with my brother are going rather swell, we will talk about that in the next quest. This quest is about trying to get my mother to realize that most people work a week, and then get paid for that week. Some, yes, work 2 weeks and get paid, but that is naturally decided upon before work gets underway. Now mind you the initial price she set out on the table was $200/wk for 20 hours of my time. It is however part way into week 2 and still no sign, or even mention of money. This normally would not bother me, except i am piss ass broke. Like seriously ... my car is on fumes, the needle does not move off of 'E' and i am smoking the cheapest brand of cigarettes i could buy ... with my little brothers money mind you.
None of this would bother me normally, i obviously enjoy having money, but i am content living modestly for the time being while i go back to school and get things figured out. What does urk the crap out of me, is that i pledged my time to her, and therefor do not have time to go find an actual job .. you know ... one that pays me for my time.
QUEST TO NOT GET LOST IN TROY
Driving ..... we took yesterday off so my brother could study a bit more for his CCNA3 exam. This morning, bright and early ... ok thats a lie. This morning, around 10am ... i picked him up and off we went. We tootled around like normal, i made him parallel park on a one-way side street ... on the left hand side. I thought his head was going to explode with confusion, but he did well.
QUEST TO NOT HURT FEELINGS
So i have several friends who live in various surrounding cities ... some of which i hang out with on occassion. There is one in particular though, whom i have known for apx. 5 years, and other than when i moved to PA, he has lived 25 minutes from me ... tops at any given time. (i move around alot)
So ... one would think that if i was just SO insanely gorgeous, funny, smart, caring, yadda-yadda, feed-me-a-bunch-of-bullshit-once-again .... that 25 minutes would be nothing to drive. YET ... here it is, going on 6 years later and i have yet to see this person in the flesh. It is always the same thing .. it's too dark and i dont see well at night, esp when i'm not sure where i am going .... or ... you could come over, but i live with my mom and she gets uncomfortable when people come over late at night ... or he waits until he KNOWS my daughter is sleeping and then suggests it ... or ... oh i worked all day so i am tired. there is ALWAYS something that makes it so it can't happen. well i am just friggin sorry buddy ... but in nearly 6 years time, you have "seen" my in and out of relationships ... both serious and not, you are well aware of the birth of BOTH of my children .... and yet you always wait until i am IN a relationship to feed me some sappy story about how much i mean to you ... yeah right!
So ... you know what. yes, i lie to you at times ... i go to Troy every single morning now ... and yes, most morning i drive right past your apt. and at times i drive past your work .. and sure, you cross my mind, and then i remember how retarded the entire situation is ... and we keep driving.
Now .. mind you, the guy whom i am currently seeing ... drove nearly 4 hours, on a whim that i might want to see him, just because he wanted to see me in the flesh. i have NO damn sympathy for a person who lives 25 minutes away and can not be bothered.
THE QUEST TO NOT KISS AND TELL (quest failed) ((oops))
OK - so i have to get all girly and mushy for a minute, because i just HAVE to share this with all the women out there to let them know that it does exist, and i have to share it for the men, to let them know that we really do notice, and appreciate these things. (and yes, i know that was a terrible run on sentence .. but we're talking love and swooning not proper english)
The guy .... no-no wait ... THE guy that girls ... no-no women ... didnt think existed ... is head over heels gay (the mushy type, not the homosexual type ... not that there is ANYTHING wrong with being homosexual ... i'm all for everyones rights to do whoever they want ... i digress) anywho .. he is all about ... me.
You watch those movies and music videos, and you see those embraces, and kisses, those steamy love making scenes, the cute cuddles and forehead kisses, the insanely thoughtful gifts for NO reason. You read about cute guys who are well traveled and can quote philosophers, who dress like they belong in GQ and can do their own laundry *gasp!* You read in magazines about men who can cook, like to stay fit and healthy but can still enjoy the down time eat cold cereal at midnight while you are playing video games, get up the next morning and HE deals with crappy chores like dishes and taking out the garbage. You see interviews with celebrities who talk about how family/goal oriented their mates are, and you gag when you see a man look into a womens eyes, say ANYTHING to her and know that it came right from his heart.
You dream about a guy who will turn down a night on the town with the boys and a trip to the strip club for his birthday in exchange for dinner, dancing and romance with you. You long for a guy that can make you feel like the most beautiful women in the world .... every .... single .... day. A man who tells you that you are gorgeous, and does the cutest most thoughtful things for you, completely out of the blue ... but you know that everything he says, everything he does, and every action he takes ... is because he wants to, and because he really thinks that you are the greatest thing in the world to him.
well i have found him.
they do exist.
he is amazing!
*gush, swoon, blush, tee-hee, giggle*
DAILY SIDE NOTES
-i am still fighting with the student loan company to release the money they ALREADY told me i could have ... but for some reason are being complete asses about it.
-My youngest daughter comes to visit this weekend. This will be the 1st time she gets to meet Chris ... as well as the 1st time my ex-husband gets to meet him as well. Mondays post should be interesting.
-i am really hungry and should perhaps go eat something. The tofu from dinner is wearing off, i need to rejuvinate
Friday, August 10, 2007
Dirty Little Secret
QUEST TO PARALLEL PARK
Today found Christopher and I parallel parking in the parking lot of my mothers work ..... the school bus garage. I managed to swipe a gigantic road cone, place it half hazardly behind my yukon and let him loose. He did very well, except everytime ... he was about 2 1/2 feet away from the curb, or in our case, the grass line. Overall concept is there, practice makes perfect i suppose.
QUEST TO GET SOME ACTION
Normally this is the heading for a section of a quest that i personally am going on, or attempted to go on. This particular quest however makes its way into my daily ..... whatever you call this simply because i am an oh so familiar part of it ... always.
Second best, not quite the number one pick, but def. not the bottom of the barrel. The girl who is awesome, super sexy and fun to talk to .... when it is 1am and you just got home from a night out drinking with all the girls that you think ARE Number 1. This is a place i find myself caught it on several occassions, with several different people.
Lets back-up ... shall we. 3 yr old daughter = not always easy to find a babysitter. I am however very fortunate to have a sister who lives close by and is willing to take her on ... most occassions, given a little bribe here and there. BUT, the catch being I have to pick her up and bring her home with me, as my fussy little princess will not sleep anywhere but home.
Staying on track .... oh right ..... mysterious sexy (drunken) man of the night. So, i managed on several occassions to get a sitter, and find a friend to travel out with me to meet this mysterious man. We had a good time, he and I did the a-typical movie ... drink ... go back to his place thing. It was fun, great to get out of the house, good conversation, yadda,yadda,yadda. That's where it ends. 2-3 steadt encounters and BAM, a wall. It's a pattern, but i'm ok with it. SO ... i digress, the point is, this mysterious man of the evening will shrug off my attempts to chat, think nothing of cutting me off mid sentence to tell me he has to go, etc. BUT - as soon as thirsty thursday rolls around and he gets dropped off at his house 1/2 cocked to the moon at 1am and everyone else is home sleeping .... i get the pleasure of being his favorite number 2 girl of the evening. FUCK YOU!
QUEST TO TELL MY FRIENDS AND PARENTS I AM DATING SOMEBODY NEW
Parents always seem to get so damn attached to my significant others. They hate them at first because "they just liked the last one so much." Before you know it, they like this one too, and the cycle continues. Just yesterday i was walking down the isle ... not a parental unit or close friend to be found, they all questioned what the hell i was doing, and swore it wouldnt last. My sister, the only one who came for the occassion. (i like the word occassion this evening) We stayed married ... l onger than the 3 month mark most people gave us, we had our beautiful daughter Gianna, and then when things fell apart, every acts SO surprised. (Personally i think they were just mad that none of them profited from the bets they placed on how long we would stay together) So yes, the inevitable happened, and we got the BIG D (as me and my friends Dan and Doug call it - both divorced)
Anywho ... digression is the theme for the evening.
Chris .... amazing guy. (arent they all though?) Educated, well traveled, good job, solid up bringing with good values and morals, independent, decent amount of real life experiences under his belt, also divorced, no children, 30 ....... black. it's not bad enough that i have to explain to my father why my marriage fell apart (umm, i dunno dad ... sorry i guess, i got bored!??) OH! but i know you said i was forever your little girl, and nothing in this world would ever change that. And i know that my entire life you have only asked me to NOT do 2 things .... rush marriage that leads to divorce and get with a black guy. Well SURPRISE ... i've done both ... all in one big swoop! Arent you SO proud?!
I can almost see the conversation play out now ... i talk, he stares, i keep talking hoping to make it better, he fiddles with the napkin, says *uh-huh*, so i fill the void with even more talking, he says *soooooo, this means what?*, I'm not really sure what to say here so I ask him to elaborate, we sit in silence for a bit, he orders pie, we leave.
In time it wont matter to anyone, and i know this. It's just a matter of how long he will be around. I'd like to hope for the long haul. i know i get bored easily, i know i get antsy ... this time it feels different ... it feels right. BUT .... i dont hold it against anyone if they dont like him ... but please for the love of all things holy, hate him b/c you think he wont be around for that long, not b/c of his skin color.
QUEST TO GET A DECENT AMOUNT OF SLEEP
This quest will continue for the next 15 years .... or until Acsha moves out, and may continue on even after that.
DAILY SIDE NOTES
-we pee'd on the floor this morning. Oops
-my ex-husband felt the need to tell me that he and his newest love interest broke-up. and couldnt believe that i told him i didnt care. SHOCKING!
This has been a broadcast of the Bored Out Of Your Gourd Club!
Thanks for tuning in friends.
Today found Christopher and I parallel parking in the parking lot of my mothers work ..... the school bus garage. I managed to swipe a gigantic road cone, place it half hazardly behind my yukon and let him loose. He did very well, except everytime ... he was about 2 1/2 feet away from the curb, or in our case, the grass line. Overall concept is there, practice makes perfect i suppose.
QUEST TO GET SOME ACTION
Normally this is the heading for a section of a quest that i personally am going on, or attempted to go on. This particular quest however makes its way into my daily ..... whatever you call this simply because i am an oh so familiar part of it ... always.
Second best, not quite the number one pick, but def. not the bottom of the barrel. The girl who is awesome, super sexy and fun to talk to .... when it is 1am and you just got home from a night out drinking with all the girls that you think ARE Number 1. This is a place i find myself caught it on several occassions, with several different people.
Lets back-up ... shall we. 3 yr old daughter = not always easy to find a babysitter. I am however very fortunate to have a sister who lives close by and is willing to take her on ... most occassions, given a little bribe here and there. BUT, the catch being I have to pick her up and bring her home with me, as my fussy little princess will not sleep anywhere but home.
Staying on track .... oh right ..... mysterious sexy (drunken) man of the night. So, i managed on several occassions to get a sitter, and find a friend to travel out with me to meet this mysterious man. We had a good time, he and I did the a-typical movie ... drink ... go back to his place thing. It was fun, great to get out of the house, good conversation, yadda,yadda,yadda. That's where it ends. 2-3 steadt encounters and BAM, a wall. It's a pattern, but i'm ok with it. SO ... i digress, the point is, this mysterious man of the evening will shrug off my attempts to chat, think nothing of cutting me off mid sentence to tell me he has to go, etc. BUT - as soon as thirsty thursday rolls around and he gets dropped off at his house 1/2 cocked to the moon at 1am and everyone else is home sleeping .... i get the pleasure of being his favorite number 2 girl of the evening. FUCK YOU!
QUEST TO TELL MY FRIENDS AND PARENTS I AM DATING SOMEBODY NEW
Parents always seem to get so damn attached to my significant others. They hate them at first because "they just liked the last one so much." Before you know it, they like this one too, and the cycle continues. Just yesterday i was walking down the isle ... not a parental unit or close friend to be found, they all questioned what the hell i was doing, and swore it wouldnt last. My sister, the only one who came for the occassion. (i like the word occassion this evening) We stayed married ... l onger than the 3 month mark most people gave us, we had our beautiful daughter Gianna, and then when things fell apart, every acts SO surprised. (Personally i think they were just mad that none of them profited from the bets they placed on how long we would stay together) So yes, the inevitable happened, and we got the BIG D (as me and my friends Dan and Doug call it - both divorced)
Anywho ... digression is the theme for the evening.
Chris .... amazing guy. (arent they all though?) Educated, well traveled, good job, solid up bringing with good values and morals, independent, decent amount of real life experiences under his belt, also divorced, no children, 30 ....... black. it's not bad enough that i have to explain to my father why my marriage fell apart (umm, i dunno dad ... sorry i guess, i got bored!??) OH! but i know you said i was forever your little girl, and nothing in this world would ever change that. And i know that my entire life you have only asked me to NOT do 2 things .... rush marriage that leads to divorce and get with a black guy. Well SURPRISE ... i've done both ... all in one big swoop! Arent you SO proud?!
I can almost see the conversation play out now ... i talk, he stares, i keep talking hoping to make it better, he fiddles with the napkin, says *uh-huh*, so i fill the void with even more talking, he says *soooooo, this means what?*, I'm not really sure what to say here so I ask him to elaborate, we sit in silence for a bit, he orders pie, we leave.
In time it wont matter to anyone, and i know this. It's just a matter of how long he will be around. I'd like to hope for the long haul. i know i get bored easily, i know i get antsy ... this time it feels different ... it feels right. BUT .... i dont hold it against anyone if they dont like him ... but please for the love of all things holy, hate him b/c you think he wont be around for that long, not b/c of his skin color.
QUEST TO GET A DECENT AMOUNT OF SLEEP
This quest will continue for the next 15 years .... or until Acsha moves out, and may continue on even after that.
DAILY SIDE NOTES
-we pee'd on the floor this morning. Oops
-my ex-husband felt the need to tell me that he and his newest love interest broke-up. and couldnt believe that i told him i didnt care. SHOCKING!
This has been a broadcast of the Bored Out Of Your Gourd Club!
Thanks for tuning in friends.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Round 5
Monday started round 5 of potty training my darling little princess. The previous 4 rounds, having been completely unsuccessful and even unsanitary at times, leave me weary of the turn out of this new try.
But alas we got up Tuesday morning, put on our prettiest pair of princess underwear and headed out to the babysitters, where she does, without constant reminding, use the damn potty. My return a few hours later finds her in nothing but her light up sandals and a new pair of pretty princess underwear, as the other ones met an unfortunate urine accident. I can handle this however, it is alot better then the unfortunate accident the last pair met when she decided to dip them in her potty and wash our living room floor. Very helpful little booger she can be.
Nap time means 2 hours of semi-quiet time for me, and at the very least the relief of not having to ask *does Acsha have to potty?* every 10 minutes.
THE QUEST TO FIND THE HEAD START
I have been asked by my mother to teach my younger brother to drive. Being hard up for cash and the job market non-existant in this wonderful area, i agreed to help. We spend 3 hours a day traveling around, talking, getting coffee and i .... chain smoke.
The headstart program that Acsha will be attending is a few towns over, and I figured I would kill 2 birds with 1 stone. Our driving lesson today ..... getting lost. We made the most unsuccessful attempt at finding this building that the women assured "you can not miss". A flip open of my cell phone reveals a dead battery and thus ... i can not call to get better directions, perhaps tomorrow.
THE QUEST TO FINISH COLLEGE ENROLLMENT IN TIME
I have elected to go back to school, tentative start date, September 4th, 2007 and I could not be happier. This does however, add just 1 more thing to the already full plate called my life. It is however, something that I must do if I ever plan to make it on my own. So .... forward we go.
DeVry university on-line .... thank goodness for on-line! I have spent the last 3 weeks playing phone and fax tag with my glorious advisor Neil, who despite his best efforts, has not made this an easy process. Also, the half-hazard attempts from the ex-husband to help with tuition processing and application fees has lead to even more headaches. I do believe, I am on the home stretch and should start setting up classes in a few days.
THE QUEST TO FINISH DINNER AND BATH ON TIME
I currently have a very eager, very pantless little girl clinging to my leg asking over and over *when ash eat? when ash eat* which has now turned into *MA PUSH! MA PUSH!* as she can not get a hair tie into her play tea pot.
Grocery shopping was completed yesterday in a timely and not-so-stressful manner. I am pleased to report that there were only minor fits of rage and 1 random outburst. Only 4 boxes were knocked off the shelf, and the check out lady just thought "she was the most beautiful little girl ever", but declined my invitation for her to take her home with her. I suppose I should watch what I say at times, not everyone can appreciate my ....... *humor*.
Tonight goes off with out a hitch, it is 5pm, we have dinner, a movie, dessert, bath and bed. Hopefully these things will be done by 7:30 at the latest at which point I can breath a mini sigh of relief for the evening. After housework and other mommy-like chores I should make it to bed myself around midnight, and we get up to start another installment of this glorious sit-com in the morning.
Stay Tuned Folks
But alas we got up Tuesday morning, put on our prettiest pair of princess underwear and headed out to the babysitters, where she does, without constant reminding, use the damn potty. My return a few hours later finds her in nothing but her light up sandals and a new pair of pretty princess underwear, as the other ones met an unfortunate urine accident. I can handle this however, it is alot better then the unfortunate accident the last pair met when she decided to dip them in her potty and wash our living room floor. Very helpful little booger she can be.
Nap time means 2 hours of semi-quiet time for me, and at the very least the relief of not having to ask *does Acsha have to potty?* every 10 minutes.
THE QUEST TO FIND THE HEAD START
I have been asked by my mother to teach my younger brother to drive. Being hard up for cash and the job market non-existant in this wonderful area, i agreed to help. We spend 3 hours a day traveling around, talking, getting coffee and i .... chain smoke.
The headstart program that Acsha will be attending is a few towns over, and I figured I would kill 2 birds with 1 stone. Our driving lesson today ..... getting lost. We made the most unsuccessful attempt at finding this building that the women assured "you can not miss". A flip open of my cell phone reveals a dead battery and thus ... i can not call to get better directions, perhaps tomorrow.
THE QUEST TO FINISH COLLEGE ENROLLMENT IN TIME
I have elected to go back to school, tentative start date, September 4th, 2007 and I could not be happier. This does however, add just 1 more thing to the already full plate called my life. It is however, something that I must do if I ever plan to make it on my own. So .... forward we go.
DeVry university on-line .... thank goodness for on-line! I have spent the last 3 weeks playing phone and fax tag with my glorious advisor Neil, who despite his best efforts, has not made this an easy process. Also, the half-hazard attempts from the ex-husband to help with tuition processing and application fees has lead to even more headaches. I do believe, I am on the home stretch and should start setting up classes in a few days.
THE QUEST TO FINISH DINNER AND BATH ON TIME
I currently have a very eager, very pantless little girl clinging to my leg asking over and over *when ash eat? when ash eat* which has now turned into *MA PUSH! MA PUSH!* as she can not get a hair tie into her play tea pot.
Grocery shopping was completed yesterday in a timely and not-so-stressful manner. I am pleased to report that there were only minor fits of rage and 1 random outburst. Only 4 boxes were knocked off the shelf, and the check out lady just thought "she was the most beautiful little girl ever", but declined my invitation for her to take her home with her. I suppose I should watch what I say at times, not everyone can appreciate my ....... *humor*.
Tonight goes off with out a hitch, it is 5pm, we have dinner, a movie, dessert, bath and bed. Hopefully these things will be done by 7:30 at the latest at which point I can breath a mini sigh of relief for the evening. After housework and other mommy-like chores I should make it to bed myself around midnight, and we get up to start another installment of this glorious sit-com in the morning.
Stay Tuned Folks
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